Corrected sample writings – task2

 The 21st century has begun. What changes do you think this new century will bring? Use examples and details in your answer. 

¹Man, through the ages, has undergone many changes from the time when he depicted a herd of mammoths on the walls of his cave to these days when he can create beautiful pictures and even make coffee by use of computer technologies without leaving his favorite chair. ² The 20th century made huge steps in developing computer technologies and reached many goals that made our life much easier. ³ What should we expect in the 21st century? 

The writer made two grammatical mistakes: first he must have used “the use” instead of use and “lives” instead of life. There is nothing wrong with “cave”. But what is worth noticing is that he/she doesn’t have a thesis statement in the introduction. The last sentence, which is a question, cannot be considered a thesis because the thesis needs to be a statement not a question. It carries the idea/the opinion of the writer. So it should have been something like this: “The 21^st century will certainly bring about grave changes to the life of mankind, changes like speedier transportation and faster pace of life because of computers, exploration of outer space and new technologies which are coming to existence every day.” Notice the correct use of present perfect tense in the first sentence and simple past in the second.

The writer uses a very nice transition of past connected with present and then past, but in the last sentence when he should have moved to the future he uses a question, which is not appropriate at all. He doesn’t formulate his plan of supporting his thesis because there is no thesis. If you look at the thesis I presented, you will see a short and quick transition to the coming supports in the last part of the thesis.

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Corrected sample writings-T2.pdf (127.68 kb)