2/1/2009 11:30:08 AM Next Comment

Whether to live in a fixed way without risking doing new things or to welcome change is a truly sophisticated matter about the life. I think that life is a precious process of going on and on but not one of stopping. This point of view brings up the idea that if we live without any changes we will be getting further from the concept of life. Although there seem to be some advantages in living in the same way everyday, such as being far away from the probable problems caused by risking, as far as I concern myself with this issue, I am a fan of welcoming the changes, experiencing new things, risking when there is any hope, breaking the rules that are of no use, and etc.
There are some disadvantages I can mention about the with-no-change method of living. For example, by living the same way everyday, we will probably lose precious events of life which we are created to experience. Also, without any changes, one could get more and more bored with the life and consequently more and more hopeless. What is given in this paragraph as the disadvantages of the without-any-change method, can be simply counted as the advantages of the oposite method.
In conclusion, seeking new experiences, as well as trying to change toward improvment and not being scared of facing new and even strange aspects of life is seemed to be a more reasonable method of living than spending the whole life doing the same things and avoiding change, because the former has more advantages than the latter.

Jafar Kabiri

2/13/2009 4:59:13 PM Next Comment

Dear Jafar;
Your writing is a well written text. However in my opinion it doesn't have an introduction nor has it a well defined thesis. You could use a 1-3-1 method to organize your writing. In your intro you should give your opinion and shortly mention how you are going to discuss the topic. In your 3 discussion paragraphs you could discuss both views and your view point. And finally in the conclusion you could have a reiteration of the main points in the essay. In this way your writing will be well organized and the reader will be able to follow the views clearly and at ease.
Take care.

Vahid