Hi everybody, this is a useful classification of unpleasant personalities which you can use when describing people in your part 2 of the speaking module. Enjoy it.

Here are the worst of the toxic personalities out there and how to spot them:

1. Manipulative Mary: These individuals are experts at manipulation tactics.  Is a matter of fact, you may not even realize you have been manipulated until it is too late.  These individuals figure out what your 'buttons' are, and push them to get what they want.

• Why they are toxic: These people have a way of eating away at your belief system and self-esteem.  They find ways to make you do things that you don't necessarily want to do and before you know it, you lose your sense of identity, your personal priorities and your ability to see the reality of the situation.  The world all of a sudden becomes centered around their needs and their priorities.

2. Narcissistic Nancy: These people have an extreme sense of self-importance and believe that the world revolves around them.  They are often not as sly as the Manipulative Marys of the world, but instead, tend to be a bit overt about getting their needs met.  You often want to say to them "It isn't always about you."

• Why they are toxic: They are solely focused on their needs, leaving your needs in the dust.  You are left disappointed and unfulfilled.  Further, they zap your energy by getting you to focus so much on them, that you have nothing left for yourself.

3. Debbie Downers: These people can't appreciate the positive in life.  If you tell them that it is a beautiful day, they will tell you about the impending dreary forecast.  If you tell them you aced a mid-term, they'll tell you about how difficult the final is going to be.

• Why they are toxic: They take the joy out of everything.  Your rosy outlook on life continues to get squashed with negativity.  Before you know it, their negativity consumes you and you start looking at things with gray colored glasses yourself.

4. Judgmental Jims: When you see things as cute and quirky, they see things as strange and unattractive.  If you find people's unique perspectives refreshing, they find them 'wrong'.  If you like someone's eclectic taste, they find it 'disturbing' or 'bad'.

• Why they are toxic: Judgmental people are much like Debbie Downers.  In a world where freedom rings, judgment is sooo over.  If the world was a homogeneous place, life would be pretty boring.  Spending a lot of time with these types can inadvertently convert you into a judgmental person as well.
  

5. Dream Killing Keiths: Every time you have an idea, these people tell you why you can't do it.  As you achieve, they try to pull you down.  As you dream, they are the first to tell you it is impossible.

• Why they are toxic: These people are stuck in what is instead of what could be.  Further, these individuals eat away at your self-esteem and your belief in yourself.  Progress and change can only occur from doing new things and innovating, dreaming the impossible and reaching for the stars.

6. Insincere Illissas: You never quite feel that these people are being sincere.  You tell a funny story, they give you a polite laugh.  You feel depressed and sad and they give you a 'there, there' type response.  You tell them you are excited about something and you get a very ho-hum response.

• Why they are toxic: People who aren't sincere or genuine build relationships on superficial criteria.  This breeds shallow, meaningless relationships.  When you are really in need of a friend, they won't be there.  When you really need constructive criticism, they would rather tell you that you are great the way you are.  When you need support, they would rather see you fail or make a fool of yourself.

7. Disrespectful Dannys: These people will say or do things at the most inappropriate times and in the most inappropriate ways.  In essence, they are more subtle, grown up bullies.  Maybe this person is a friend who you confided in and uses your secret against you.  Maybe it is a family member who puts their busy-body nose into your affairs when it is none of their business.  Or maybe, it is a colleague who says demeaning things to you.

• Why they are toxic: These people have no sense of boundaries and don't respect your feelings or, for that matter, your privacy.  These people will cause you to feel frustrated and disrespected.

8. Never Enough Nellies: You can never give enough to these people to make them happy.  They take you for granted and have unrealistic expectations of you.  They find ways to continually fault you and never take responsibility for anything themselves.

• Why they are toxic: You will spend so much time trying to please them, that you will end up losing yourself in the process.  They will require all of your time and energy, leaving you worn out and your own needs sacrificed.

All of these personalities have several things in common.  1) the more these people get away with their behavior, the more they will continue.  2) Unfortunately, most of these people don't see that what they do is wrong and as a result, talking to them about it will fall on deaf ears, leaving you wondering if you are the crazy one.  3) Most of these people get worse with age, making their impact on you stronger with time.

Frankly, life is too short to spend your time dealing with toxicity.  If you can, avoid spending mucho time with people who are indicative of these behaviors and you'll feel a lot happier. Have you encountered these personalities?  What have you done?  Any personalities you would add?

Communication strategies: are employment of verbal and nonverbal mechanisms for the productive communication of information. Communication strategies are of two types:

1_Compensatory Strategies                    

2_Avoidance Strategies

Compensatory strategies:

Sometimes learners are unable to communicate because they have difficulty in finding the words for expressing their idea. And some learners can not communicate due to their difficulty in comprehension. Sometimes compensatory strategies can help learners to compensate for the lapse of concentration and lack of knowledge. The following are some common compensatory strategies:

1-Circumlocution: Describing or exemplifying the target word or concept.        

Example: “The things you open bottles with” for corkscrew. “I said something which was not true” for the word lie.

2_Approximation: using an alternative word for expressing the meaning of the target word as closely as possible.

Example: “Ship for Sailboat”. “My friend gave (for the word lent) me some money”

3_Use of all-purpose words: Using words such as Thing and Stuff  for the words that you might not know their English equivalent.

4_Prefabricated patterns: Using memorized phrases or sentences for communication. The learner may not know the exact meaning of the words in such phrases or sentences.

Example: Using a sentence like “That is all I can say about somebody/something” or “To sum up” for wrapping up your speech.

5_Use of nonlinguistic signals: Use of mime, gesture, facial expressions or sound imitation for conveying your message.

6_ Asking for help: Asking for aid from your listener either directly (e.g. “What do you call?”, “Would you explain more about your question”, “What do you exactly mean?”) or indirectly (e.g. rising intonation, eye contact)

7_ Use of gap fillers: using beginners/gap fillers to fill pauses and to gain time to think.

Example: Well, Now let’s see, As a matter of fact, you know

There are some other compensatory strategies but I didn’t indicate them because I didn’t find them useful.

Avoidance strategies:

Avoidance strategies can help you to lead the discussion in the 3^rd part of the IELTS speaking test. You can also use them in the 1^st and 2^nd part of the test to avoid making mistakes.

1_ Message abandonment: Leaving a message unfinished because of language difficulties. Sometimes it is difficult for you to convey a message so you had better leave that message unfinished but you should do this in a subtle way that doesn’t call the the listener's attention to it.

2_ Topic avoidance: Avoiding topic areas or concepts that pose language difficulty on you. For example  in the IELTS speaking test,if you know that you can not talk about the cultural issues of your country then you had better avoid this topic. As you might know, in the 3^rd part of the IELTS speaking test most of the questions are based on your answers, so avoid answering in a way that invite questions which you are incapable of answering them.

This article suggests a method for those who want to improve their proficiency in English and has nothing to do with IELTS test.  

Learning a foreign language by watching movies can be a great way to get ahead in a second language and in some cases can be better than “traditional” language learning methods like classes and grammar books! Let’s go over why…

Watching foreign movies immerses you in real, fluid language. This exposes you to the way that the language is really spoken. It’s not slowed down for learners and it’s not made clearer for foreigners. For this reason, you can begin to adjust right away to the actual language as it is spoken today. This is an important skill since you will be using the language at a fast rate as the movie exposes to you, not the slowed down rate that teachers and audio programs use.

Probably most important about watching foreign movies is the fact that it is an enjoyable activity. For this reason, you are not as likely to tire of it as you are to tire of doing grammar exercises or reading dry language textbooks. With movies, you can keep watching and therefore spend more time in the foreign language than you would have if you had just been reading grammar books. More time in the language means more exposure and more learning.

With movies, you also get the added benefit of a visual reference. The visual images will help you understand what is being said so that you can understand better. Additionally, watching a story unfold will also help you begin to understand various vocabulary. Words are often likely to be repeated throughout the movie allowing you to pick them up.

For these reasons, watching movies can be a great way to increase your language knowledge and get more exposure in. If nothing else, you should watch a movie or two just for fun because it’s a fun thing to do. You should never force yourself to do only boring things in the foreign language you are trying to learn. With movies, you get to do something fun and learn at the same time which is the best combination for language learning. In this way, you will find that you pick up new words, sentence structure and more through watching movies.

I should also note that to help your learning along, you should have some way of keeping track of the words you come across. This way, you can review them later and not forget them. As I have mentioned in my previous articles, although learning English through watching movies can be quite fun you should not consider it only as way of having fun. Take the following steps if you want to make the best out of watching movies:

1_ watch the movie for the first time just to understand what the story of the film is. It is like skimming the passage to get the gist of the matter.

2_ the second time watch the movie and extract all of it new words and expressions. You can get all the words by downloading the script of the movie. Write down all the new words in a notebook. Write the definition and some examples for each word.

3_after the second time you can watch the movie again and again to review the new words that you have learned.

2. Know the test: If you are not familiar with the test or you are uncomfortable with it, your nervousness will increase.Try to find out everything you need to know about the test (The procedure of the test, the test takers and etc,).

3. Learn How to relax: You can ease tension by doing exercises. Sit comfortably with your back straight. Breathe in slowly, hold your breath for 4 to 5 seconds, and then slowly exhale. To relax facial muscles, open your mouth and eyes wide, and then close them tightly.

4. Visualize yourself speaking: Imagine yourself walking confidently to the room. Imagine yourself speaking, with your voice loud, clear and assured. When you visualize yourself as successful, you will be successful.

5. Realize that the interviewer is not there to make you feel uncomfortable: An interviewer knows that he or she must do everything to make you feel comfortable. This is their job and they are told to do so. Consider the interviewer as one of your friends with whom you are going to have a friendly chat.

6. Don't Apologize: Most of the time your nervousness does not show at all. If you don't say anything about it, nobody will notice. If you mention your nervousness or apologize for any problems you think you have with your speech, you'll only be calling attention to it. If you don’t say anything about it, your listener may not notice anything.

7. Concentrate on Your Message: Your nervous feelings will dissipate if you focus your attention away from your anxieties and concentrate on your message and your audience, not yourself.

8. Turn nervousness into positive energy: The same nervous energy that causes platform panic can be an asset to a speaker. Harness it, and transform it into vitality and enthusiasm.

9. Gain Experience: Experience builds confidence, which is the key to effective speaking. Most beginners find their anxieties decrease after each speech they give. We all know that practice makes perfect. The more you practice the more confident you will become. So whenever you are practicing speaking consider it an speaking test.

10.Record your voice: Record your voice when you are practicing speaking and then listen to it to find your mistakes.

One of the things you will need in order to have a better performance in the speaking section of the IELTS test is your ability to use a range of different phrases and expressions to perform different functions. In this post and the following, I will try to introduce some useful ones.

Here is a list of “fillers” which are suitable to be used in the test. Fillers are a set of words which can give you the opportunity of filling the gaps you face during speaking. For example, you are speaking and you forget a word. Instead of pausing and hesitating, you can add these words to your speaking to give it a flow.

And here is the list of them:

I mean, ,

You see, ,

Well, let me see, ,

If you see what I mean, ...

Let’s get this into perspective, ,

You know,

Well,

Uh,

Another set of phrases I found useful is the set of words which you can use to give your opinion. Expressing opinions is a very handy tool in the test, and you will need to talk about your opinions most of the time, so I believe these expressions will come to save you!

Here they are:

In my opinion...

As far as I'm concerned,

From my point of view,

As I see it,

I think / reckon / presume...

In my view,

It would seem to me that...

It seems to me that...

I feel...

I believe...

I figure that...

To my mind,

What I think / mean / believe is that...

I mean that...

I may venture that...

As for me,

For my part,

I'd say that...

The expressions are followed by some marks. Here is the meaning of them:

A comma means that there should be a pause.

A double comma means that there should be a longer pause.

Three dots means that you should continue what you are saying without a pause or hesitation.

Well, I hope you can use them in your speaking. In the next post, I will present you with some expressions on how to express agreement and disagreement.

When we speak, we use much more than just words. We also communicate with our face, our hands, and even our own body. This kind of communication can be called "body language" or "non-verbal communication". Non-verbal communication not only includes how we move our body, but also hand gestures, facial expressions including eye contact, and how we use our voice. 60% and 80% of all of our communication with other people is non-verbal. We communicate a wide range of information non-verbally. We also show our feelings, attitudes, moods, hopes and wishes far better with non-verbal language than with words.

Not only is a large QUANTITY of communication non-verbal in nature, but the QUALITY is high as well. For example, if a person says something positive while his face looks negative, which are we more likely to believe? In most cases, we will believe the non-verbal facial expression. In the end, his words will not succeed in communicating his message. If we want to succeed in our conversations, we really must learn to "speak" with our body well!

Let me begin by giving you some general advice. The main thing is to relax and be natural. Trying too hard to use "body language" will make you seem a bit strange. Instead, you should allow your body language to naturally follow your words. If you say something positive, then your face, body and hands should show it too. If you are expressing a sad or worried feeling, then your face, body and hands should change with that feeling. As you think about it more and consider how you can use your body to communicate, you will become more and more natural.

More specifically, let's talk about hand gestures. Using our hands, we can emphasize our main points; remind our listener how many main points we have, and let our listener know when we are changing topics. A dramatic movement of the hand or moving our hands wide apart can signal how important something is. We can even use two fingers, either close together or far apart, to show how big something is. To show VERY strong feeling we could clap our hands together loudly or make a fist (put our fingers in a ball as though we want to hit someone) and hit a table or desk. To show that we welcome someone, on the other hand, we can hold our hands out with the palms up, and maybe move them towards a chair to invite someone to sit next to us. To show that we are not sure about something we can shrug our shoulders(Lifting them up).

Some hand gestures that are popular are waving to someone as a greeting or holding your index finger and thumb into a circle to mean "okay". However, there are some countries where these can have bad meanings! It's important to be careful when using certain common gestures. Don't assume that everyone in the world understands one gesture in the same way. Still, you can use basic gestures most of the time, and then when you see a strange reaction from your listener, you can make sure to emphasize your real meaning by using words and a different hand movement.

Facial expressions are a very common way that we use to communicate every day. When speaking English, it's generally good to smile at your listener from time to time, especially when he or she has made an interesting comment. Also nod your head up and down to show you are really interested. From time to time, you can add a sound of agreement, such as "Uh huh" or even just "mmmm", to show you are listening. You can screw your face up to indicate that what the speaker is saying doesn’t sound interesting or appealing to you. Above all, it is important to maintain eye contact while listening. Sometimes it is okay to move your eyes away when you are speaking, because you do have to think about what you want to say. However the listener should almost always look at the speaker without moving the eyes away (without "averting" the eyes).

 You can show your friendliness and "openness" by leaning a little bit toward the speaker. Try to avoid folding your arms in front of your chest. Many people consider folding your arms as a cold, "protective" gesture. Instead, you could have your hands on your knees or one hand on your knee and the other at your side. You can fold your arms sometimes if you wish, but don't hold them there for a long time. As long as your hands move from time to time, the listener will not think that you are unfriendly.

Besides all of the obvious physical ways to communicate non-verbally, we have our voice. We use "intonation", loudness and "pitch" (how high or low our voice sounds) to change our meaning. Even when our voice does not make an actual word, it still can communicate feeling and attitude. Combined with the words we use, our voice can be a very powerful way to express what we mean. A strong voice can communicate confidence while a quiet voice communicates intimacy or some secret message. A loud, high pitched voice (similar to a girl screaming) can communicate nervousness or excitement, while a deep voice might mean we are tired or not enthusiastic. You can easily change the meaning of a sentence by changing your pitch or sentence stress.  

All in all body language is one of the basic skills that all students need.