Toxic Personalities!

by Dr Niazmand 5. June 2009 20:14

Hi everybody, this is a useful classification of unpleasant personalities which you can use when describing people in your part 2 of the speaking module. Enjoy it.

 

Here are the worst of the toxic personalities out there and how to spot them:

 

1. Manipulative Mary: These individuals are experts at manipulation tactics.  Is a matter of fact, you may not even realize you have been manipulated until it is too late.  These individuals figure out what your 'buttons' are, and push them to get what they want.

  • Why they are toxic: These people have a way of eating away at your belief system and self-esteem.  They find ways to make you do things that you don't necessarily want to do and before you know it, you lose your sense of identity, your personal priorities and your ability to see the reality of the situation.  The world all of a sudden becomes centered around their needs and their priorities.

2. Narcissistic Nancy: These people have an extreme sense of self-importance and believe that the world revolves around them.  They are often not as sly as the Manipulative Marys of the world, but instead, tend to be a bit overt about getting their needs met.  You often want to say to them "It isn't always about you."

  • Why they are toxic: They are solely focused on their needs, leaving your needs in the dust.  You are left disappointed and unfulfilled.  Further, they zap your energy by getting you to focus so much on them, that you have nothing left for yourself.

3. Debbie Downers: These people can't appreciate the positive in life.  If you tell them that it is a beautiful day, they will tell you about the impending dreary forecast.  If you tell them you aced a mid-term, they'll tell you about how difficult the final is going to be.

  • Why they are toxic: They take the joy out of everything.  Your rosy outlook on life continues to get squashed with negativity.  Before you know it, their negativity consumes you and you start looking at things with gray colored glasses yourself.

4. Judgmental Jims: When you see things as cute and quirky, they see things as strange and unattractive.  If you find people's unique perspectives refreshing, they find them 'wrong'.  If you like someone's eclectic taste, they find it 'disturbing' or 'bad'.

  • Why they are toxic: Judgmental people are much like Debbie Downers.  In a world where freedom rings, judgment is sooo over.  If the world was a homogeneous place, life would be pretty boring.  Spending a lot of time with these types can inadvertently convert you into a judgmental person as well.

5. Dream Killing Keiths: Every time you have an idea, these people tell you why you can't do it.  As you achieve, they try to pull you down.  As you dream, they are the first to tell you it is impossible.

  • Why they are toxic: These people are stuck in what is instead of what could be.  Further, these individuals eat away at your self-esteem and your belief in yourself.  Progress and change can only occur from doing new things and innovating, dreaming the impossible and reaching for the stars.

6. Insincere Illissas: You never quite feel that these people are being sincere.  You tell a funny story, they give you a polite laugh.  You feel depressed and sad and they give you a 'there, there' type response.  You tell them you are excited about something and you get a very ho-hum response.

  • Why they are toxic: People who aren't sincere or genuine build relationships on superficial criteria.  This breeds shallow, meaningless relationships.  When you are really in need of a friend, they won't be there.  When you really need constructive criticism, they would rather tell you that you are great the way you are.  When you need support, they would rather see you fail or make a fool of yourself.

7. Disrespectful Dannys: These people will say or do things at the most inappropriate times and in the most inappropriate ways.  In essence, they are more subtle, grown up bullies.  Maybe this person is a friend who you confided in and uses your secret against you.  Maybe it is a family member who puts their busy-body nose into your affairs when it is none of their business.  Or maybe, it is a colleague who says demeaning things to you.

  • Why they are toxic: These people have no sense of boundaries and don't respect your feelings or, for that matter, your privacy.  These people will cause you to feel frustrated and disrespected.

8. Never Enough Nellies: You can never give enough to these people to make them happy.  They take you for granted and have unrealistic expectations of you.  They find ways to continually fault you and never take responsibility for anything themselves.

  • Why they are toxic: You will spend so much time trying to please them, that you will end up losing yourself in the process.  They will require all of your time and energy, leaving you worn out and your own needs sacrificed.

All of these personalities have several things in common.  1) the more these people get away with their behavior, the more they will continue.  2) Unfortunately, most of these people don't see that what they do is wrong and as a result, talking to them about it will fall on deaf ears, leaving you wondering if you are the crazy one.  3) Most of these people get worse with age, making their impact on you stronger with time.

Frankly, life is too short to spend your time dealing with toxicity.  If you can, avoid spending mucho time with people who are indicative of these behaviors and you'll feel a lot happier. Have you encountered these personalities?  What have you done?  Any personalities you would add?

 

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Speaking Forum

Listening Exercises for you-2

by Dr Niazmand 5. March 2009 21:29

Listening Exercises for you 2

Private Lives - Part 2 

Here is the second part of the BBC learning series called “private lives” along with a quiz and its script. As the previous one first download the audio file and take the quiz and then download the PDF file and check your answers. I hope you enjoy it.

Quiz:

1. Almost any piece written in a newspaper or magazine on a particular subject can be called________.

a) the news agenda      

b) an article

c) a column

d) a page

2. ________ is a regular section of a newspaper usually written by the same person.

a) a column

b) an article

c) the news agenda

d) a page

3. If we say, 'the newspapers are __________ a certain event', it means they are reporting the news about it.

a) publishing

b) editing

c) covering

d) printing

4. When an event is so important that newspapers put their reports on it on the first page, we can use the term _____________.

a) a front page story

b) a chief page report

c) boss of the news

d) hard news

5. A journalist who is the main correspondent on key stories in a certain area (e.g. business, local news etc.) and has a team of junior reporters working in the same area is a ________ reporter.

a) hard news

b) front

c) boss

d) chief

6. An 'edition' of a newspaper is ____________.

a) its version targeted at people living in a particular area

b) all of its copies published at the same time

c) one of the many times that the newspaper is published

d) any of the above

You can download the audio file here: private_lives_2.mp3 (5.11 mb)

You can download the PDF file here: Private Lives- part 2+Answers.pdf (49.25 kb)

 

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Listening Exercises for you-1

by Dr Niazmand 5. March 2009 20:47

Listening Exercises for you

Private Lives - Part 1 

 Hi there. Here is a very useful listening, which is the first part of a series in English listening I am going to post, along with a quiz and its tape script as a PDF file you can download. First download the MP3 file, listen to it and do the quiz. After that download the tape script and check your answers.

Quiz:

1. The whole of the area of a theatre or concert hall where the audience sits is the ________.

a) tier

b) stalls

c) gallery

d) auditorium

2. The Royal Albert Hall has a rounded, or hemispherical, roof. What do we call such a roof?

a) a saddleback

b) a flat roof

c) a dome

d) a spire

3. The Royal Albert Hall is sometimes referred to as the nation's ____________.

a) local pub

b) village inn

c) village hall

d) dance floor

4. Because it can seat over 5,000 people, the Royal Albert Hall can be called a ___________.

a) medium-size hall

b) grand-scale venue

c) tall space

d) wide place

5. A net-like material that looks like a mesh formed by metal threads crossing over each other is a __________.

a) metal cloth

b) wire gauze

c) wire material

d) metal fabric

6. The annual series of about 70 concerts performed in the Royal Albert Hall is called the________.

a) Pros

b) Cons

c) Props

d) Proms

 

Download the Audio file here:  private_lives_1.mp3 (4.56 mb)

Download the script and the answers here: Private Lives-part1+Answers.pdf (60.28 kb)

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Writing Task 1- Processes 1

by Dr Niazmand 4. March 2009 22:45

IELTS Writing Task 1

Well, this time I am going to have a review on rare types of task one in IELTS writing exam. But before that let’s have a review on the more popular ones.

As you all have studied in classes we have 4 main types of writing task 1, namely:

1-      Time based bar charts, graphs, tables and sometimes pie charts

2-      Surveys which appear in the form of bar charts, pie charts or tables

3-      Data distribution bar charts, pie charts and tables

4-      Diagrams which can be grouped into the following types:

a.      Processes and life cycles

b.      How things work

c.       Timelines

d.      Maps

e.      Organizational flow charts

As you all know we don’t cover diagrams in our writing handouts since they are mostly discussed in your reading handouts. In these series I am going to cover these types in more depth and we will practically learn how to write about these types in a structured and well organized way. And please be advised that you won’t find this classification anywhere else in IELTS textbooks. We have provided this classification in order to free you as the writer from the appearance of the writing task and help you focus on what you need to write and how to organize your essay in the best way possible.

The first type of diagrams which I am going to discuss is the processes and life cycles. When describing processes we need to describe the following items:

1-      The different stages

2-      The actions happening in each stage

3-      The parts and equipment used in each stage

4-      The method of doing actions

5-      The purpose of each stage and the whole process

Let’s take the following process and write a sample for it step by step.

The diagram below shows the typical stages of consumer goods manufacturing, including the process by which information is fed back to earlier stages to enable adjustment.

Write a report for a university lecturer describing the process shown.

 

In order to prevent a long post I’ll write the detailed description for the process in my next post. Meanwhile you can take a piece of paper and try to write a sample for yourselves to compare it with mine and to realize what your weaknesses and problems in writing about a process are.

Take care and so long.

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Writing Forum

Writing Task 1 Topic

by Dr Niazmand 4. March 2009 12:30
Hey guys. This is a new task 1 writing topic for those of you who like writing. I hope you enjoy it. It is a time based graph, so try to use the techniques you have learned in classes to write your essay.

 

 Task 1 topic:

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

  Eating sweet foods produces acid in the mouth, which can cause tooth decay. (High acid levels are measuredby low pH values). Describe the information below and discuss the implications for dental health. You should write at least 150 words.

 

 

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Useful expressions for writing-Part 1

by Dr Niazmand 4. March 2009 10:55

From now on, I am going to post a few useful expressions used in formal writing and speaking along with some examples of usage. Try to use them in your writing and when you speak.

The first three parts will be on agreeing with somebody or something. Here is the first part.

 

Agreeing 1

1 to agree with someone or something

We can use the following verbs and phrases to show our agreement with others’ opinions and ideas:

To agree verb [intransitive and transitive] to have the same opinion as someone, or to think that a statement is correct:

• Many people agreed with his views about the war.

• I completely agree with Chomsky when he says that humans are born with a special ability to learn language.

• Most experts agree that dieting needs to be accompanied by regular exercise.

STUDY NOTE: Grammar

Don’t say ‘agree someone's opinion' or ‘agree to someone's opinion'. Say agree with someone's opinion.

To share somebody's view(s)/concern(s)/fear etc to have the same opinion, concern, fear etc as someone else:

• I share her concerns about the lack of women in high academic positions.

• A lot of people share his view that tourism will have a negative impact on the island.

Another possible way is to use these verbs in passive forms.

• This fear/view/concern was shared by union leaders, who saw the new law as an attack on their rights.

To subscribe to a view/theory etc to agree with an opinion or idea:

• There are a number of scientists who subscribe to the view that there is a God who controls the workings of the universe.

• Some people think that there are cases where torture is justified. I, for one, do not subscribe to this theory.

To be of the same opinion if people are of the same opinion, they agree with each other:

• All three specialists were of the same opinion about the cause of her illness.

• Professor Dawkins is of the same opinion as Dr Jones.

To concur verb [intransitive and transitive] a formal word meaning to agree:

• The committee concurred with this view.

• Most modern historians would readily/easily concur that (=agree without any hesitation) this was an event of huge importance.

• As most biblical scholars concur, the letter could not have been written by any contemporary of Jesus.

(Somebody) To be right/(somebody) To make a valid point used when you agree with what someone says:

• Darwin was right when he argued that humans and higher mammals are closely related.

• Cox makes a valid point when he questions our ability to remain objective.

 

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Free discussion new topic

by Dr Niazmand 20. February 2009 21:39

Hi everybody;

Here is our new free discussion topic. I hope you all will participate. I tried to choose a hot and controversial topic to have all of you involved. Comment as many times as you want. Try to answer each other's points of view. Good luck.

 

Men and women have had debates on each others behaviour for as long as almost the entire human history.

What do you men think are the weaknesses and pitfalls in women's behaviour with the opposite sex?

And what do you ladies think are the problems and weaknesses in men's behaviour with the opposite sex?

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Seventh Lesson in Reading

by Dr Niazmand 20. February 2009 20:25

Seventh lesson

Every text has a structure. It is not just a random collection of sentences. The parts that make up the text are related in a meaningful way to each other. Recognising the way in which a text has been organised will help you to understand it better. In order to understand the text, it is necessary to understand how the sentences are related. Words like "it", "this", "that", "here", "there" etc. refer to other parts of the text. You need to understand these connections or links.

Overall there are 4 main types of links:

  1. Reference
  2. Ellipsis and substitution
  3. Conjunction
  4. Lexical cohesion

In this lesson we are going to talk about referencing and ellipsis/substitution. For those of you who follow these lessons, I presented a lesson on referencing in the speaking forum. Here we are going to review some important grammatical structures which are used in referencing.

Reference

Certain items of language in English have the property of reference. That is, they do not have meaning themselves, but they refer to something else for their meaning. How to understand referencing in a passage? In order to do this we need to know more about the grammatical structures used in referencing. Look at the following list:

  1. Using subjective pronouns: I, you, he/she/it, we, you, they.
  2. Using objective pronouns: me, you, him/her/it, us, you, them.
  3. Using possessive adjectives: my, your, his/her/its, our, your, their.
  4. Using possessive pronouns: mine, yours, his/hers/its, ours, yours, theirs.
  5. Using adjective clause pronouns: who, that, which, whom, when, whose, where, why and their leaving out in the case of referring to the object.
  6. Reduction of adjective clauses to adjective phrases.
  7. Using Wh-question words in questions: what, which, why, where, when, what time, who, how, how much, how many, how often.
  8. Using some, most, many, much, (a) few, (a) little, another, others, the other…
  9. Using here, there,

There are many other instances of grammatical structures used in referencing. These are the most common and all of them refer to a single word. There are times when referencing refers to a group of words. Take the following:

  1. This/that used as pronouns
  2. These/those used as pronouns
  3. “Which” in adjective clauses when it refers to a whole sentence.
  4. So
  5. They/them

Let’s see some sample texts:

The scientific study of memory began in the early 1870s when a German philosopher, Hermann Ebbinghaus, came up with the revolutionary idea that memory could be studied experimentally. In doing so he broke away from a 2000-year-old tradition that firmly assigned the study of memory to the philosopher rather than to the scientist. He argued that the philosophers had come up with a wide range of possible interpretations of memory but had produced no way of deciding which amongst these theories offered the best explanation of memory. He aimed to collect objective experimental evidence of the way in which memory worked in the hope that this would allow him to choose between the various theories.

In this text "he" and "him" refer to "Hermann Ebbinghaus". “When” and “that” refer to the words before them, “which” refers to theories. (all refere to a word)

The word “so” refers to “memory could be studied experimentally” and the word “this” refers to “collecting objective experimental evidence of the way memory worked”. (They both refer to a group of words)

In order to understand the text, you need to know what these words refer to in the text.

Similarly,

These theories all stem from some underlying assumptions about people. To a large extent unproven, they tend to represent the dominant mood or climate of opinion at that time. Schein has classified them as follows, and it is interesting to note that the categories follow each other in a sort of historical procession, starting from the time of the industrial revolution.

Here you need to know what the words "they", "them", "it" and "each other" refer to in order to understand the text.

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Dr Vahid Niazmand

Ehsan Dehghan

Omid Kardani

Reza rafi

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